Hey friends,
I liked the list format from last weeks post so let’s give it another go.
What was your life like at 20 years old?
Naked? Afraid 😧 ? Confused 🫤 ? Or a nasty combination of the three?
Just me? Cool😊.
What if you could dust off that ole time machine and sit down with your 20 year old self?
Would you have anything valuable to share?
If I was a betting man I’d say….yes!
I grew up in obscurity, right outside of nowhere, Georgia (reppin’ I-575). And thought I had this whole living thing figured out after 20 years.
Boyyyyy was I wrong 😑 . I was fooling myself. And the late great Richard Feynman said it best - “you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.”
I didn’t even know what I didn’t know.
A decade later and not much has changed! BUT if I could pull up a chair next to 20 year old Arman (you handsome devil you) then here are 20 questions I would interrogate him with:
Why do you care what other people think?
I was shy. I was always on high alert. Are they judging me? Do I look cool? How should I act? Dude….nobody cares about you. And I mean that in the best possible way. Even those closest to you don’t think about you for more than 5 seconds per day. Now imagine those barely know you. They only care about themselves. So use that tidbit to your advantage. You are free to do whatever you want. And become whoever you want to be.
What are you afraid of?
99% of what you do now is going to 0 have any impact on who you will become. So don’t be so freakin scared. Put yourself out there. Take (calculated) risks. Make mistakes. Have fun. Be a little foolish. But don’t die.
What feels like play to you but looks like work to others?
You should go ahead and burn this one in to your brain right now. Because it could unlock the key your better life. Take note of what comes natural to you. What are you obsessed with? What can you spend hours doing without realizing where the time has gone? And realize that other people would hate doing it for more than 2 minutes. Do more of what interests you. No matter how lame it may seem. And it will open doors you never knew existed.
What game do you want to play?
Money game💰? Status game? Business game👨💼? Politics game? Fame game? There are only a handful of games to choose from. So choose the one that sounds the most fun to you. Because they each have different rules. Then play accordingly. And stop comparing yourself with those who are playing different games than you.
Do you want to stay in the rat race forever?
Are you ok with working your whole life to making other people rich? Or do you want to own a piece of the fortune pie? Because if you do, then you better start something to call your own. It’s ok if you learn some skills from the race. Then get out!
Who are you becoming on the job?
The only question to ask yourself while being an employee is: who am I becoming? Not how much am I making? You’ll be surprised how often the lower paying job could make you a better person in the long run.
Who do you want to work with?
This is even more important than what type of work you do. Make sure you work with people who you can tell are going places. The alumni network you build at a company will have a lasting impact on the rest of your career.
Where do you want to live?
This is one of the most important questions to ask. And it is frequently overlooked. Are you staying where you are just because you were born there? Or because you have friends there? That doesn’t make it the ideal place for you. Take time to explore and discover where feels like home. Spoiler: It probably isn’t where you grew up.
What is your one burning desire?
It is easy in our social media overloaded brains to have a new desire every 13 seconds. But how are you supposed to attain any of these when you never focus? It is hard enough to achieve one great thing. Stop getting distracted with the thousands of things you THINK you want. Focus on one. And only one.
Do you want to be happy or wealthy?
Come on older Arman, that’s a trick question. Obviously I want both! But is that possible? Maybe. But being both at the same time is tough. Go for wealth first. Happiness second. Wealthy & happy > Broke and happy.
What do your habits say about you?
You are what you consistently do. What’s that 👂? Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.
What do you desire above all else?
Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. What is important enough to be unhappy about in the pursuit? Choose wisely.
Why are you hanging out with them?
You become who you surround yourself with. Look around. No matter how hard you try not to…..you will become just like them. In more ways than you can imagine. Be ruthless about who you allow in to your inner circle.
Would you still do that if it was on the front page of the New York Times?
I get it. You are young. Your brain isn’t fully developed. You think you are invincible. Anything you do can be immortalized for eternity thanks to the internet. Take 2 seconds. Think before you act.
What physical activity do you look forward to?
Don’t worry about finding the PERFECT workout routine. Just find something that makes you sweat AND that you enjoy doing. Do it every day. The result will be a healthy body and a clear mind.
Why are you shoveling that “food” in to your mouth?
Those energy drinks, sour gummy worms, and cheetos are not food. Stop ✋ convincing yourself otherwise. Eat food that your great grandparents would be able to recognize.
Why won’t you go up to her?
Realize that girls will NEVER come up to you on their own. Even if they are attracted to you. YOU have to make the first move. Don’t worry about dropping some amazing pick up line. Just go up to her. Smile. Say hello. And see where it goes. You will immediately seem more confident than 95% of other guys.
Why haven’t you pick up a freakin book 📖 ?
You know you can read right? And you can learn anything you want from a book. This one is one of my biggest regrets. I didn’t start reading until my mid 20’s. And I cringe at how many books could have changed my life during those years. A love for reading will give you the cheat code to living the good life.
Do you really think America 🇺🇸 is #1?
I had no idea how much brainwashing goes on throughout childhood. Growing up in America, I literally thought the whole world watched us. Then copied our every move. Man was I stupid. Go to a foreign country (leave the resort). Interact with the locals. Observe their culture. You will notice that we (Americans) don’t have it all figured out. And the
world=America.We aren’t as damn important as we think we are.Does any of this even matter?
You will start to notice that you are getting sucked in to the daily grind. Don’t let this happen. Take a step back. Look up. Be present. How do you feel right now? Evaluate your present situation. Is this who you want to be? Your life is like the flash of a firefly in the night sky. And you will be forgotten in 2 generations. No matter what you did.
These questions are evergreen so they are worth asking no matter how old you are. And worth asking often.
I am trying out a new platform that allows you, my dear friend, to share your thoughts with me. So I have one ask from you. Would you mind commenting with the number that most resonated with you?
(#3 and #19 are my personal faves)
We gone (Quavo voice).
Love #4, and the line “stop comparing yourself with those who are playing different games than you.” Thanks for sharing, Arman!