A bizarre realization
What we love quickly destroys us, what we hate slowly strengthens us
I hate writing, but I love having written.
I read this line the other night and it was one of those book drop moments. I’m sure I’ve heard it before and thought it was cute at the time, but now that I’m a writer, it penetrated my thick skull.
After sleeping on it, I found that it can be applied to so much more than just writing.
Practically everything that’s hard in the moment will surely be good for our future selves:
I hate exercising, but I love having exercised.
I hate eating spinach, but I love having eaten spinach.
I hate difficult conversations with my wife, but I love having discussed the difficult topic.
I hate saving and investing money every month, but I love having saved and invested.
On and on.
This may be an obvious point to you, but it seemed worthy of further exploration. So I flipped the idea on its head and realized the reverse is just as true.
Practically everything that’s easy in the moment will surely be bad for our future selves:
I love devouring an entire pizza in one sitting, but I hate having devoured it.
I love mindlessly scrolling social media first thing in the morning, but I hate having started my day that way.
I love binge watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but I hate having binge watched for nine straight hours.
I love my Lululemon spending spree as much as the next tech bro, but I hate feeling the tinge of buyer’s remorse the next day.
On and on.
This reminds me of two related points.
First, Derek Sivers idea of shallow happy vs. deep happy. Which is just another way of distinguishing instant vs. delayed gratification.
Shallow happy is eating the pizza. Deep happy is not eating the pizza.
Second, Jerzey Gregorek’s simple yet profound life philosophy.
Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.
Now I’m sure you’re mind is racing with all kinds of exceptions that disprove this, but it’s a good rule of thumb to keep in your back pocket as you navigate the murky waters of the human experience.
You may hate reading these words, but you love having read them.
Your thoughts? Please leave a comment below.
Couldn't agree more with this.
Of course, these ideas don't mean you shouldn't try to find joy in doing the hard things (exercising, writing, not eating the pizza). With the right design, all of these things can be fun or worth looking forward to at least some of the time. But resistance will spring up and, on those days, you have to remember how much you love having exercised or having written or having not eaten the pizza. I wrote an essay on a related idea last week called Crap Sandwich: https://www.longevityminded.ca/p/crap-sandwich.
Thanks for writing and sharing these ideas, Arman!
I can relate.
What’s difficult in writing is finding out I don’t know enough about what I wish to say.
Having written something feels good because I’ve waded through the hard work of figuring that out.