Our closets have become cluttered with stuff. Stuff we never really liked to impress people we liked even less. And I’m not referring to our clothes…
Let’s unpack the magic of tidying up the mind.
See if you notice any similarities between the two.
A wardrobe cleanse is liberating. But as you will see, a mental closet cleanse is transformational.
Hopefully you’ve already experienced the magic of tidying up your closet. If not, it goes something like this:
Step 1. Grab every piece of clothing you own. All your shirts, pants, shorts, shoes, socks, underwear (even the stained ones you refuse to trash), etc. And throw them on your bed.
Step 2. Pick up each item and ask yourself, “Do I still look sexy in this?”
Step 3. If yes, keep. If no, discard into the donation pile. Pro tip: nobody at Goodwill wants your stained underwear.
That’s it.
You’ll be amazed at how much stuff you clung to. You’ll find a few outfits that you haven’t worn since high school. Like that banana onesie you wore for Halloween in ‘07. You don’t look sexy in that anymore, guaranteed.
If you do it right, you’ll slash your wardrobe by 25-50%. It will feel like you broke free from the chains of consumerism. Congratulations, you claimed back some control over your life. All in a single afternoon.
Easy enough, right?
Now let’s do the same with our minds.
This won’t be nearly as easy. But it will be worth it. Because afterwards, you’ll have broken free from the heaviest chains of all. Conformity. No longer controlled by society. Pretty cool, right?
Time to Marie Kondo our beliefs.
On we go.
We need to sift through the closet of our minds and dump the beliefs we’ve accumulated onto our mental bed.
And we must ask ourselves, “Do I still look sexy believing this?” Aka does this serve me?
If yes, keep. If no, discard.
Much like our clothes, we’ll be amazed at how many beliefs we clung to and didn’t even realize it.
If you remember nothing else from this essay, at least take this line with you:
“We question all our beliefs, except for the ones that we really believe in, and those we never think to question.” - Scott Orson Card
There’s definitely some from my childhood that have got to go. Like the one where I thought there was a constant spotlight shining above my head. Highlighting my every move. Like I was Jim Carrey in The Truman Show.
The one area where these similarities break down is in their required frequency.
We can get by just fine by performing a wardrobe cleanse once or twice a year.
But mental closet cleanses are a weekly requirement. Daily for us overachievers (that’s you).
An unfortunate realization
We’re going to realize that a majority of our beliefs are no longer sexy. Then why do we keep clinging to them like that banana onesie? We look ridiculous.
How do I know?
After my first mental closet cleanse I discovered something alarming. None of my beliefs were ever mine to begin with. They were fed to me by well-meaning parents, friends, teachers, gurus, and so on.
These beliefs may have been helpful for a brief time. But just like my baggy jeans with the wallet chain hanging down my leg, they’ve gone out of fashion. Most beliefs do.
That’s why weekly mental closet cleanses are so vital. Without them, we’ll be stuck with unfashionable beliefs that no longer serve us.
What beliefs have you never thought to question?
If you’ve questioned them all, then please stop reading.
But for the rest of us. It’s mental closet cleanse time. Or else…..
We’ll have a mental closet full of unquestioned beliefs cluttering our minds to the point where nothing else can squeeze in.
We’ve got to make room for new beliefs just like new outfits that make us look sexy again.
Let’s declutter our minds of all the mental junk. Beliefs we never truly believed to impress people we barely liked.
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“Do I look sexy believing this!” I now have my question of the week! I love this. you keep laying out some kind of useful reframe or distinctioneach week. Love this stuff. Keep it coming. (I’m not trying to shine a spotlight over your head, but you’re kind of guilty of turning it on in a natural sort of way.) :)
What a delightful read, Arman!
Last year, I went down a rabbit hole of developing a concept wardrobe, which is only keeping the quality items that match my body, personality, & essence.
I think about how the clothes that look the best are not the trendy items, but the items we feel most comfortable and confident wearing -- when we take the time to understand what we value & how we move through the world.
Yet, much like beliefs, I don't want to hold on to the same clothes forever. I want to evolve and freshen my wardrobe just as I would my mind.