Actions drown out words
What reveals your values?
I told my dad I really wanted to be an entrepreneur like him. He’s owned several businesses before it was sexy (over 40 years).
He said, “No you don’t.”
This caught me off guard because my dad is typically gentle with his words.
Then I replied, “Yeah I do. It’s always been a dream of mine!”
He said, “No it hasn’t. Merely saying it doesn’t make it true.”
My ears started to boil with frustration and I said, “Come on dad, don’t you want to encourage me to follow in your footsteps? I want to be an entrepreneur like you. I know this is what I want to do!”
He said, “You wouldn’t need any encouragement if you really wanted to be an entrepreneur. So I’m going to ignore your words and observe your actions.”
Dad was not one of the great motivational speakers of our time, but he had a point. Even if I didn’t want to accept it.
I left that conversation with something to chew on. But because I like to argue, debate, and think of unique exceptions (my fiancé adores this) I came up with an impressive list:
What about someone who says they want to lose weight, but hasn’t been able to? 🏋️♂️
What about someone who says they want to quit drinking, but hasn’t been able to? 🍺
What about someone who says they want to save money, but hasn’t been able to? 💰
I could hear dad’s voice whisper in my ears from a thousand miles away, “If they really wanted to, they would.”
Then his whisper got personal, “Arman, you’ve been telling me you want to start a business since 2017, but still haven’t. You’ve been asking for business ideas, but never do anything with them. Looking at your actions and knowing you for awhile, it’s clear to me you don’t want to be an entrepreneur. You just like to say you do. Big difference. You actually prefer the simple life you have now, working a 9 to 5, reading and writing, and playing with your dog.”
Ouch. Yep. He’s right.
Our words reveals our ideal selves, but our actions reveal our real selves.
It’s so easy to fool myself by shouting affirmations in the mirror, “I’m going to be a great entrepreneur!” But my actions (or lack thereof) reveal my values.
Sure I kinda want it, but I want something else more.
Not the ideal recipe for a successful business. Especially since entrepreneurship is cutthroat.
Two takeaways:
Stop fooling yourself with words, and admit they probably aren’t true.
Start doing what you say you want to do, and see if it lights a fuel.
What was that? Sorry I can’t hear you, your actions are drowning out your words.
You’re right dad. Thank you.
You make my day when I get notified that you liked this and wrote an insightful comment.
Ive started many side hustle businesses over the years... and run 5 of them for over a year.
My last 2 i openly invite other potential cofounders to join in and we 'earn' our equity by what we do. This last case has taught me so much about doers vs. 'thinkers'
A classic case is 2 guys who both had pretty impressive careers and started joining our weekly standups. Where i always encourage folks to pickup some tasks, even if they wanna make it up themselves.
But for weeks they just joined the meetings and did nothing. And instead i see they write linkedin posts about generic stuff like how to be a great product manager, etc
And so there is a massive gap between what they say (ie. i wanna be an entrepreneur and not just work for others) and what they do (which is just focus on finding their next job)
Fun and great, I'm gonna carry this with me