Cerebral sparring partners

Help wanted!

Jul 20, 2023

I despise small talk, but relish good banter.

Drop me in a networking event and watch me clam up like an oyster. But try to convince me that ham and pineapple belong on pizza (good luck) and watch me light up.

I struggle to think of a more enjoyable experience than this: sitting across the table from a cerebral sparring partner accompanied by two (strong) cups of coffee and two minds ready to go toe to toe.

Yet this doesn’t happen nearly as often as I’d like.

Which is why I’m making my plea to you today. I want more cerebral sparring partners, no, I need more.

What’s a cerebral sparring partner?

That’s tough to say. They come in all shapes and sizes. So instead of listing all their qualities, I’ll mention three deal breakers:

You automatically accept what I say or write at face value.
You’ve never gotten pissed off at some of my ideas.
You don’t want to call me out on my bullsh**!

That last one is important.

If it feels like I’ve just described you, then you can stop here. But if you’ve ever felt a tinge of anger while reading my words or listening to my babble, then let’s continue.

Without multiple sparring sessions per week, my mind muscles start to atrophy. I know it’s time to get back on the mat when I can’t recognize that flabby mind in the mirror.

That’s where you come in.

It’s so easy nowadays to architect a cerebral bubble that automatically blocks out any and all opinions, ideas, or beliefs that don’t perfectly align with our own.

That might sound like paradise to some.

But to me, sounds like a living hell.

For example:

If I ever find myself in a group conversation where everyone is in 100% agreement on whatever topic is being discussed (say worthy pizza toppings), I feel the urge to politely excuse myself proclaiming my dog needs her toe nails clipped (or some other nonsensical reason).

Then when they aren’t looking, I’ll go join the table of drunk Italian taxi drivers screaming at each other with exaggerated hand waving.

Even though I’m unable to comprehend what’s being discussed, I instantly feel more alive. While secretly hoping they are confirming my suspicions that a pizza containing a single chunk of pineapple or slice of ham is a sacrilegious act.

If I go against my gut reaction and decide to stick around, I know I’ll continue to get dumber.

The moment we find ourselves surrounded by like-minded people is the beginning of death.

I’m not ready to die quite yet. Are you?

So I want, rather I need, a cerebral sparring partner who’s willing to throw their singlet on and hop on the mat with me to wrestle with exciting ideas.

Could that be you?