It’s no secret that there’s power in positive thinking. But plenty of smart people think it wise to harness the power of negative thinking. Which way do you lean?
I used to be all aboard the toxic positivity ship. It got so bad that if a single negative thought slithered it’s way into my head, it’d send me into a downward spiral of despair.
“This is it.” I thought, “We had a good run, but this one negative thought is going to come true and will be the end of me.”
Not exactly a peaceful existence looking back on it.
Like any good spy, I decided to investigate what the enemy camp was up to. Could negative thinking be the way? I like to try the exact opposite whenever something isn’t working.
So I started digging into Stoicism and discovered an exercise called premeditatio malorum — the premeditation of evils. Basically, you imagine what could go wrong or be taken away from you. So you’re not shocked if it happens.
Then I found Tim Ferriss’s modernized version of this two thousand year old practice which he calls fear setting. You write down (in detail) the worst case scenario of what’s weighing on your mind. And you often realize even the worst case isn’t that bad.
My positivity gurus would be appalled at such practices.
Which camp is correct — positive or negative? My response is sure to upset both sides. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
I wanted this to be a black and white situation.
I wished someone would tell me if I should do everything in my power to block out negative thoughts. Or actively call on them to prepare me for what could come.
But then I realized it simply doesn’t matter. Thoughts aren’t real. They’re just thoughts.
You could think really hard about winning the lottery. I mean like eyes closed, fists clenched, popping a hemorrhoid hard. Or you could think about your mother dying in a horrible plane crash.
Neither of those thoughts are reality. And likely never will be. Especially if you don’t buy lottery tickets and your mom refuses to fly.
I’m not saying anything you don’t already know. When we take a step back, we instinctively know not to believe everything we think. Then why do we let our thoughts get us so worked up?
Because it feels like the voice inside our heads creating these thoughts is who we are. But is it?
If you could see the thoughts in my head, it would look similar to those three humid days in July 1863 on The Battle of Gettysburg.
With the Union (positive thoughts) unleashing a barrage of bullets on the enemy. Followed by the Confederacy (negative thoughts) absorbing that blow, and then returning heavy artillery fire of their own.
Back and forth. Nonstop. Not a pretty sight.
Yet the moment we become aware of the battle being waged, peace talks begin. You become an observer of the battle, instead of an infantry soldier on the frontline.
That’s the beginning of learning how to not believe everything you think. No matter how convincing the thought may seem.
Think about this (ha) — there’s 8 billion people. Each of us has a 3 pound universe, often called a brain, that conservatively thinks 10,000 thoughts per day.
I’m no mathematician but if my calculations are correct, that’s 80,000,000,000,000 (80 trillion) collective thoughts a day.
But how many of them are true? Or at least useful?
I’m no scientist either but after doing extensive research I’ve concluded — not many.
Does it serve you to believe everything you think?
Likes and comments below.
....i think this was a pretty thoughtful exercise...
Great post, Arman! A useful self-inquiry question I learned is, “Are these thoughts useful? What purpose do they serve?”