Today’s a big day.
I’ve made something new that I guarantee you’re either going to love, hate, or not give two sh*ts about.
I’ll get into what it is in a moment. But first, I’m sorry.
Sorry for causing your inbox to become a barren wasteland these past two months.
Haven’t you missed my silly little essays squeezed in between much more urgent matters like CLAIM YOUR FREE OZEMPIC NOW and EVERYTHING HALF OFF AT ZARA (TODAY ONLY)?
You probably thought I’ve been kicking back with my toes in the sand on some “exotic” beach like The Jersey Shore.
But no.
You’ll be glad to know I hate getting sand in all the wrong places. And instead, I’ve been a busy little bee working tirelessly on something I think you’re gonna get a ton of value from (free of charge).
Someone much cooler than me once said, “Real gangsters move in silence.”
Well, I’m losing my gangster badge by doing this, but it’s time to shout it from the rooftops: Go listen to my new podcast Grave Lessons!
Wait, no. That’s cringe.
Every podcaster begs you to go listen. So here’s my pitch:
Don’t listen… if you can’t stand learning from history’s (dead) greats.
Every week(ish) I read an autobiography on one of history’s most fascinating figures. Unearthing their insights you didn’t know you needed to know.
There is so much fluff out there. You won’t find any of it here.
Not bad, eh?
I fall for some good ol’ fashioned reverse psychology every time.
Now, does the world really need another podcast?
Probably not. But I did some extensive research (ok ChatGPT did) and found out that yes, it’s true, there are a lottttttt of podcasts already out there. About 4 million.
There’s obviously way too much competition, so why even step into the arena?
Because after a little more digging I realized it’s a mirage.
90% of podcasts quit by episode 3. Leaves us with 400 thousand who kept going.
But get this, 90% of those who remain quit by episode 20. Leaves us with only 40 thousand.
See what I mean?
Plenty of people start a podcast. Most don’t stick with it.
Like most things in life.
That gave me the confidence to tell myself, What the hell! I’d rather try and maybe fail than not try and definitely fail.
Even if no one ever listens, I might as well publish at least 21 episodes so I can truthfully claim on my resumé: top 1% podcaster in the world.
Has a nice ring to it, right?
To my surprise, after I forced my brother to listen to episode 1 he asked, “When’s episode 2 coming out?!”
That’s a good sign. Or maybe he’s thinking, “Alright I’m gonna give this guy one more chance…”
At the end of the day, I’m having fun by simply creating a pod I’d like to listen to.
I think there’s some wisdom in that approach.
I’ve published 3 episodes so far so I can already say I’m a top 10% podcaster.
18 more to go until I can sit at the big boy table with Joe Rogan and Alex Cooper.
Where to start? Choose the one that piques your curiosity the most:
I know, I know, only a fool would try to start a podcast today. With no experience, no audience, and no fancy studio (I record in my closet). Especially when they can’t stand the sound of their own voice…
I proceed.
PS — Alright I can’t help myself. Go ahead and smash that follow button and review the pod if the spirit moves you!
Consistency is underrated for sure. If you publish 6 weeks in a row on Substack you're ahead of 79% of writers.
I'm disappointed, Arman. I spent a couple hours trying to get this to play, but no way. I have an elderly iMac and Spotify no longer supports my Safari browser, even when I tried to force an older version of the Spotify app to work, nor does Spotify support any other browsers in my computer. But I'm excited about your venture and wish you the best. Sounds like fun.