I don’t know about you, but I feel an instant connection to someone who hates something I hate — especially if it’s mainstream.
Plenty of people love the same things — puppies, ice cream, Taylor Swift. But if we hate just one thing in common then I know you’re my type of person — styrofoam, root beer, Harry Styles. It’s easier to connect on shared hatred than shared love.
We’re drawn to the confidence it takes to have an unpopular stance. It attracts those who have similar thoughts but never put them into words. Hence why many fall for a good cult leader.
We can use this to find our true fans.
Journalists can say, “If you enjoy reading the New York Times, you’ll hate my writing.” Then folks who can’t stand the NYT will love that you said that and want to check you out.
Comedians can say, “Don’t come to my stand up if you’re a Jim Gaffigan fan.” Then folks who hate clean comedy will be thrilled to come.
A water bottle business can advertise, “The most expensive water you can buy.” It’s almost a dare. They’ll stand out from the sea of sameness while their competitors fight to be the cheapest.
Most artists try to please everybody. They cast a wide net because they can’t fathom excluding a potential fan. But that’s dumb. If you purposely prune most people, it shows you’ve got the confidence to back it up. It implies, “I know who I want to appreciate my art, and if that’s not you then please take your art appreciation elsewhere.”
There are some incredible people scattered across the globe who would be a fan of your art. They may only make up .01% of the population. But that’s still 802,843.52 fans!
Proudly prune the other 99.99%. We announce who we are by announcing who we’re not. When someone in our .01% sees who we are excluding, they’ll automatically feel connected to us.
I made this classic mistake when I first started writing a year ago. I claimed to write about the broadest topic of all — life. I casted the widest of nets.
And guess what? I didn’t catch a single fish, besides a few family members and friends who felt pity for me.
Then I changed my tagline to “The most boring writing you’ll ever read (Voted most likely to lie in high school)”. It still needs some work, but I’ve started to prune out the people who don’t have a funny bone in their bodies. It’s a start.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some pruning to do.
I love seeing your name pop up in my notifications when you click the heart and write an insightful comment.
“We’re drawn to the confidence it takes to have an unpopular stance.” Truly, there’s nothing more inviting than a person who has a backbone. Someone who knows what they like, what they want, who they are, and most importantly, who they’re not. Trying to please everyone is a roundabout way of losing touch with yourself, I think. Great piece Arman!!
Great piece, Arman. For some reason, it made me think of this https://www.instagram.com/p/CrENMAOuXrz/