[Repost] Forced sabbatical

My phone started buzzing on my desk. I didn’t bother to look at first because I figured it was another spam call. But I noticed a name pop up on the screen. It was my old boss.

I answered and the first words that came out of his mouth were, “Dude, why didn’t you tell me?”

My mind started racing with what he could be referring to. Did I forget to tell him I’m getting married? Did I not remind him that my Georgia Bulldogs won their second college football national championship in as many years? Did he find out I got a dog?

“Tell you what?” I asked.

“That you got fired!”

I froze for several seconds. Until I finally came up with the words, “Well, that’s news to me.”

Apparently, my entire team had been axed. And I was the last to find out.

Photo by Albert Dehon on Unsplash

My heart started racing as I quickly opened Slack. And there it was. An unread message from my VP of Sales with those nine gut-wrenching words equivalent to being sent to the principal’s office as a kid: “Hey, do you have a minute to catch up?”

Uh oh.

I hopped on the zoom call already knowing my fate. After exchanging a few pleasantries, his ax came swooping in. I was informed that our whole team had been fired — effective immediately. My conversation was the final one to be had. At least he saved the best for last. He mentioned a lack of ROI and some other startup buzzwords.

I contained myself until the call wrapped up but then a rush of rage and anxiety filled me. How could they do this? And more importantly, why me?

I had dedicated a majority of my waking hours to this company for multiple years. This is how they showed their appreciation?

I shut my laptop and did what any self-respecting adult does when trying to avoid facing their emotions. I opened Twitter and tweeted, “I just got fired. Is this what freedom feels like?”

One of the first responses was from my internet friend Charlotte who shared an article titled How to Become a Luckier Person Overnight written by David Cain. I normally wouldn’t read an entire article on a Tuesday afternoon during money making hours but today was different. I suddenly had some new found free time as my forced sabbatical had just begun, so I devoured it. It was exactly what I needed. Thank you Charlotte.

Surprising gratitude

In it, the writer talks about radical gratitude. I had heard plenty of platitudes on gratitude but it hit different due to my current situation.

It sparked a question: Could I be grateful for being fired?

It sounds ridiculous at first, of course I couldn’t. How could anyone?

But I sat with the question. And to my surprise, my mind started coming up with several reasons for how I could be grateful.

The mind is a question answering machine that can come up with tons of great unexpected responses to any question you pose to it. I was amazed at my mind’s ability to come up with answers, no matter how silly the question may seem.

Our mind’s are so quick to judge events as black or white (good or bad). Got a promotion? Good. Got fired? Bad. But it’s not that simple.

There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. - Seneca

Every event in a complex system has unimaginable ripple effects. One seemingly small “bad” event could be the seedling of something great that cannot be fathomed.

That’s why I chose to view my firing event in a new light. I hadn’t been fired. I had been forced into a sabbatical. Sabbaticals sound sophisticated. Maybe not how I would have drawn it up, but a chance to take a step back nonetheless.

I thought, “Wow, I’m lucky this happened to me.” I had saved up a rainy day fund that would cover me for at least a few months without any income. Ah, the beauty of living below your means. Plus, I now live with my fiancé who has a good job and could help too.

Those who live below their means experience a freedom that those constantly upgrading their lifestyle will never know. - Naval Ravikant

I was grateful that I didn’t have to rush to find the first available job whether that was waiting tables or working construction (not that there’s anything wrong with that work but I’d rather earn with my mind). I was grateful that I didn’t have to look at my family and stress if I could still put food on the table, although it might have to be ramen and black beans for a bit.

My forced sabbatical had gifted me with something I haven’t had in years— no boring zoom calls. What a treat.

It got me thinking, what else could I be grateful for?

My dog just threw up on our new rug. Could I be grateful for this too? That weird fungus made an unwelcomed appearance on my back again. Could I be grateful for this too? Why yes, yes of course.

What “bad” event (at first glance) could you be grateful for today?

Let me be clear, I’m not saying that you should be grateful for everything that happens to you. But it’s a fun thought experiment.

Could you be grateful for your partner ordering those pointless health knick-knacks from Amazon all the time? Hey, that Gua Sha tool actually feels amazing when rubbed on your cheeks while your sinuses are flaring up.

Could you be grateful for your grandparents insisting on calling you every Sunday when you’re hung over? Geez, it sucks that I have family members who care about me and want to hear how I’m doing. Come on now.

It’s not easy, but surprising gratitude is almost always available if you’re willing to ask: Could I be grateful for this too?

The more absurd the event, the more fun it is to explore.

Imminent nuclear war between America and Russia on the horizon? Could I be grateful for this too?

Try it.

You’ll be shocked by the responses your mind provides you. And you might just realize that even while everything seems to be crumbling, all is well.

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I love reading and responding to your insightful comments. Comments are below.

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Thank you to Chris C. for your helpful edits.