The subtle art of elegant persistence

A hard-fought lesson shared by a reluctant salesman

What comes to mind when you hear the word “salesman”?

I stumbled into this profession back in 2015, and still find myself there 8+ years later, so I’ve heard every derogatory term in the book (describing my colleagues of course, not me). So let’s hear it.

Slimy? Pushy? Sleazy? Annoying? Desperate? Untrustworthy? Slicked back hair? Poorly fitting suit?

I’ll stop you there or else we’d be here all day, but I get your point.

Basically something like this, right?

As much as I’d like to defend my fellow salesmen, I can’t. It’s (mostly) accurate. I won’t lie, I’ve worn my fair share of poorly fitting suits.

Salesmen are some of the most hated professionals in the world so who in their right mind would want to learn anything from them?

You would.

Why?

Any salesman worth his salt has been ignored or rejected thousands of times and has the scars to prove it. To have any chance of survival, he or she must learn what I call the subtle art of elegant persistence.

You’ll want to stick around even if you don’t plan to sell anything a day in your life. It could help you meet your hero, make millions, or even get married.

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Childhood brainwashed us in many ways.

But one of the worst was learning that if you approached someone and they ignored you then they just weren’t that into you. And if you mustered up the courage to try again, you must be a total loser.

No, no.

Adulthood flips this belief on its head.

If you approach someone and they ignore you then they have a valid reason — don’t take it personally. And if you refuse to muster up the courage to try again, you are the real loser.

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You can stand out from the masses in our modern world full of people who are too afraid to show they care about someone (especially a stranger) — by practicing the subtle art of elegant persistence.

Doesn’t matter if it’s a famous author you admire, a startup founder you want to work for, or a girl you think is attractive.

By simply being elegantly persistent you prove that you give a damn about them. It also shows your confidence because you believe they could stand to benefit from interacting with you.

I could blabber on and on about this topic but I’ll be considerate of your time. Let me share a quick personal story that illustrates the subtle art of elegant persistence and then we’ll call it a day. OK?

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Back in the summer of 2017, a young lady who was a stranger to me but a friend of my friends came into town for a weekend visit.

I caught a glimpse of her Instagram account over my friend’s shoulder before she arrived and instantly knew I had to clear my schedule. And made sure I was already at their house when she arrived on Friday afternoon.

I tried to play it cool. Acted like I had no idea she was coming. That didn’t last long. My cringey pickup lines failed horribly. She was not into me.

Strike one.

By then I had been in sales for a couple of years and had already seen elegant persistence paying off at work so I wondered, “Could this translate outside of my cubicle?”

I found out she was coming back into town a few months later, so of course, I cleared my schedule again.

This time would be different as I repeated to myself, “No corny pickup lines you fool.”

I tried playing the role of Mr. Cool Guy again (because that worked so well the first time). Ignoring her most of the night. Acting like I didn’t care she was there.

But I couldn’t help myself.

I followed her around all night like a puppy and even tried holding her hand on the Uber ride home. Denied.

Strike two.

At this point, any “sane” person would have given up and gone back to swiping right on Bumble. But I’m insane.

A couple more months passed and I was invited to a friend’s wedding in St. Simons, Georgia. Guess who was also going to be in attendance?

Ah ha! This was my chance.

She’d finally get to see me in some respectable clothes and I’d be sure to spray some extra cologne for the special occasion. No way she could resist me now, I thought….

It was time to shoot my shot when the music came on and guests stumbled onto the dance floor.

So I walked up to her and asked, “Wanna dance?”

She said, “Uh I would but I’ve gotta use the bathroom.”

I didn’t see her again that night.

Strike three.

Normally after three humiliating rejections, I would have changed my name, bought a one way ticket to Mongolia, and settled in to a tiny village to start a new life.

But then I remembered that I’m a salesman and I know the rewards on the other side of elegant persistence!

A couple years went by and I found out she had started going to grad school in Marietta, Georgia which was near my grandparents house.

I was driving up from Florida to visit them for a few weeks when something forced me to call her out of the blue.

I didn’t know what to say as the phone was ringing…

She answered and it was like an out-of-body experience. Apparently I asked her to join me at a fancy tapas place called Gypsy Kitchen that I knew no girl could say no to.

She obliged (probably for the free meal)….

….Fast forward to today and I can hear her in the other room watching one of her favorite Bravo shows — with a wedding band on her finger.

That’s elegant persistence.

Even if you agree with the subtle art of elegant persistence right now, will you remember it the next time you’re ignored or rejected?

Totally disagree? Let me know why in the comments below.