So you want to stop worrying and starting living? Good. That makes two of us.
Let's go on a journey together and discover how to stop worrying and do a little bit more living....
Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming about "some" day where you will finally be able to think to yourself "I've made it!"
Because I do.
But why do we daydream about this?
Is it because today is really awful and we desperately want to be somewhere else? Or is it because we are taught to never be satisfied? To constantly be striving for something? Something outside of us. Something we haven't yet attained.
Well, I've got a new question for you -
What if you are already exactly where you are meant to be? Right now.
You are.
Doesn't it seem crazy for us to always be wondering "what's next?" Can't we take a moment right now to look around and say "who cares what's next, I am enjoying this for what it is."
You have probably heard of a book called "How to win friends and influence people" because it is a classic self-help bible. Or quran. Or torah (remember I try to be all-inclusive here).
But that is not what I want to recommend to you today. But instead, something written by the same author, Dale Carnegie. The one I want you to pick up is called "How to stop worrying and start living".
Originally published in 1944 (yes the same 1944 when there was a world war being fought). It resonates as much today as it did back then (maybe even more so). Because in my opinion, our society is even more anxious, worried about the future, and unsatisfied with daily existence.
Here is a good question to ask yourself every day - "what's the worst that could possibly happen?"
Ask it the next time you are about to:
take that new job
start that business
go on that first date
move to that new city
negotiate for that couch you want (this is top of mind since I have been furniture shopping a lot lately)
You get the point.
We create these doomsday scenarios in our head about what may possibly happen. But then the reality of what actually occurs is often much different than we originally thought.
This quote by the late great Michel de Montaigne sums it up perfectly, "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened."
Not to say that bad things never happen to you because they most definitely do. But if you are able to read this right now then it's safe to assume your life is pretty alright (all things considered).
So stop worrying so damn much! You are stronger than you think. And the worst rarely ever happens.
The drip, drip, drip of worry is going to drown you in fear. It will torture you. Like waterboarding of the mind.
Often it is as simple as facing reality as it is, stop worrying, and then doing something about it.
Think: what am I worrying about?
Then, what can I do about it?
If nothing, then stop worrying.
If something, then...do it! (like Shia lebuff begs you to)
It is crazy how much time we spend worrying. And how little time we spend living.
When living begins, worrying ends.
I just came up with that. Pretty good, right?
Don't give yourself the luxury of sitting around and worrying. If you stay active doing something, literally anything then you will likely drop those worries. You will be too busy to dwell on them.
Save the worrying for those meaningful moments like deciding between supreme or meat lovers pizza.
Want to know the secret to being miserable?
Answer - to have the time to wonder whether you are happy or not.
One of the biggest realizations I have come across is this - Simple solutions to difficult problems are the most effective.
You could have been born 30,000 years earlier. Or 50,000 years later.
But you weren't. You and I are alive on this planet now. Isn't that amazing?
And we only have a handful of years left to live. Maybe more for you than for me because I just can't seem to stop eating sour patch kids.
Do you really want to spend any more of your precious time fretting about petty things that nobody will ever care about for the rest of eternity?
Is it really worth worrying about?
Or even for those "big" things you think are crucial to your life trajectory. Do you think anyone 1,000 years from now will care? They probably won't even know you existed.
But my point isn't to make you feel depressed (although I give you permission to feel so).
It is to get you to realize that life is not that serious. None of us are going to get out alive!
I urge you to go read some history.
So you can take a long term perspective.
Go ahead and count the number of times you have thought about the life of an ancient mesopotamian. Even for one second. Can you even name a single mesopotamian?
I didn't think so.
And they were alive just 10,00o years ago.
Now think about 10,000 years from now. Who will care if you made a fool of yourself every once in a while?
The reason I am writing this is not to teach you anything new. You don't want me to be your teacher (trust me).
I am writing this to remind you of what you already know. And to get you to apply it.
Stop worrying and start living.
Many of us (me especially) think we need to change the world and everyone in it. When in reality the only thing that needs to change is ourselves.
We don't understand many things in life. But maybe we aren't meant to understand life, but instead just live it.
So let me leave you with one final question - what the hell are you worrying about?
I bet you will realize that it is not all that important or significant.
Just go be yourself. You will have an extremely difficult time trying to be anybody else.
And laugh at your worries!!
I promise you, they are less important than they seem.
Click this link if you want to check out the book. I would highly advise.
P.S. - The main reason I have decided to write and share these thoughts with you is to serve as a reminder for me. I need to drill them in to my thick head. I am far from perfect. My fiancé can vouch for that.
"If my critic had known about all my other faults, he would have criticized me much more severely than he did."
P.P.S. - Please share your unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism with me. You know how to reach me.
This was exactly the pick me up I needed today. Feeling a little loss and worried about some big decisions that might happen in the next few months. I gotta remember to tell myself that all the hard decisions I’ve made in life that I’ve worried and lost sleep over have all turned out just fine.
Thanks, Arman! Hope all is well.