What do you hate not doing?
might be the most important question you've never asked yourself
I didn’t get to meditate, write, or play basketball this past weekend and it’s been nagging at me like that itch in the middle of your back that you can never quite reach.
Which reminded me of my favorite double negative question of all time (weird I know) posed by Derek Sivers back in 2009 — what do you really really really hate not doing?
This is so much easier than answering the all-too-common (yet hopelessly ineffective) reverse that we’re taught to endlessly ponder — what do you love doing?
Why is this?
The things we love doing constantly change. But the things we hate not doing seem to remain constant.
After experimenting with dozens hundreds of different activities over the years, there’s just three that really grind my gears if I don’t get to do them.
Meditating, writing and playing basketball.
The funny part is, I don’t necessarily love doing any them while I’m in the act. But I always hate not doing them.
I, like any seasoned meditator, still squirm in my seat wondering why the most ridiculous thoughts bounce around in my mind like a pinball machine.
I, like any writer, sit and stare in anguish at the blank screen of death while it feels like I’ve officially tapped out of any good words worth the writing.
And I, like any hooper, start screaming at the basketball when it refuses to go through the hoop. Like I owe it a substantial amount of money or something.
If a day goes by when I don’t suffer the endless frustrations of performing these acts, it feels like a waste when I close my eyes at night.
But on the days where I get to do the three things I really hate not doing, the rest of the day could’ve been a heaping pile of steaming dog manure. Doesn’t matter. It was still a good day.
It’s not hard to imagine Elon Musk hating not building yet another billion dollar company that pushes humanity forward. Or Mr. Beast hating not filming yet another viral YouTube video that garners the attention of a few hundred million eyeballs. Or LeBron James hating not lacing up his sneakers for yet another attempt at lifting up the Larry O’Brien trophy.
Do they love doing these things? Perhaps.
But I think they hate not doing them even more.
Have you ever stopped to consider what you hate not doing?
It might just be the most important question you’ve never asked yourself.
The single biggest, top of the list thing I hate not doing is living in my kids each day. Saying I love you to them dozens of times a day, listening to them when they repeat themselves and say, “like I mean” over and over (they’re 14 year old girls), comforting them after their volleyball team loses a match, encouraging them to give whatever they are up to their best-regardless of the outcome, congratulating them on their diligent effort that yields A’s and a wayward B.
Yep, I don’t know how I’ll cope when they leave for college…😞
I hate not reading books. Even though it's so much easier to scroll Reddit, or succumb to the gentle embrace of a Netflix trance after a long work day, it physically pains me not to get to enjoy all the books that I want to read. And so I keep coming back to my books no matter how many times I get distracted--almost like a meditation.