You've not only kept your curiosity Arman, you've also kept your authenticity, which may be a bigger hidden strength than you're accounting for in the fact that you've thrived. I love you article and resonate with every assertion you're making about curiosity. Fortunately I have kept mine as well. It tends to build on itself, a little curiosity followed leads to a lot more. Life is an amazing thing to explore, but human potential and our capacity to overcome fears or limits that we assumed were permanent is probably the thing that most intrigues me, and how to support others to make that leap.
“I would go even further and say the moment we lose our childish curiosity is the day we die.” -- 100%, Arman. Great topic, so relatable and powerful. Thank you!
The beauty of childish curiosity, to me, is that you cannot tell in advance what you will be childishly curious about. I'd say, whatever happens to get in front of my senses :)
Glad you ignored your fiancé's advice, Arman. This was a great read that sparked a lot of ideas for me.
Curiosity is so downplayed as a way to learn, change and grow.
Our love of learning turns into what we have to learn at an early age. Leo Ariel wrote a great piece too just last week about his origin story, and what we have to do.
I once read that a high school student gets asked something like 100 questions a day. And the expectation is that they need to be answered straight away - hands up, "I know the answer".
There's a book I've been recommended called "Make Just One Change: Teach students to ask their own questions" https://a.co/d/0ZoU5Bj published by the Right Question Institute.
They talk about the Question Formulation Technique. Question-storming (rather than brain-storming) you could call it.
It is based on the premise that when you brainstorm, you assume you are answering the right question. But if you start by question-storming, you first find the right/best question to answer.
Thanks Arman, the line that caught my attention was,
"You will know you’ve reawakened your childish curiosity when you find a topic that makes you want to spend countless hours exploring, reading and contemplating."
I'm not 100% there, in fact, I'm studying for my 4 year degree (58 years old going for my computer science degree) which has me focusing on some things I couldn't care less about.
But, I'm moving a lot of stuff from the realm of "things I didn't know, I didn't know" into the realm of "things I know that I don't know"
I *am* smart, but I convinced myself that I wasn't because I failed Calculus 3 times. Turned out that there was a ton of math that I wasn't solid on, so I took a 17 month break and me and Khan Academy started at 1+1 = 2 and have gotten to the power rule in derivatives. A lot of tears during that journey that I'm hoping to complete by the end of February.
(Side note: I've become convinced that passing a kid in math with less than a 98% mastery level is a war crime, 70% is NO WHERE near enough)
Anyway, your article on childish curiosity stuck a chord, and I'm using the above quoted line as a compass to keep the passions burning.
You’re an incredible writer Arman, I think you’re gonna touch a lot of people with your writing. It’s so exciting to be here early and see your progress. Keep going
Asking too many questions like the example of the children in your essay, Arman, can make the person being asked feel interrogated, even if they are good, open questions, that start wtih'why?', 'how?' and 'what?'.
I learned about that when I was trainingg to become a coach and studying Motivational Interviewing, a method of talking with people about change.
And the solution that MI offers is to offer a reflection in place of a question. You make a reasonable guess about the person's meanings, thoughts, feelings, values or hopes, and offer it as a statement. The beauty of it is that it doesn't have to be right - the listener will correct it with what they are meaning, feeling, valuing, etc.
There's a recommended ratio of questions to reflections, which I think is 1:3 or 1:2, to avoid that sense of interrogation and help the conversation continue towards resolving ambivalence and change.
In a conversation, it's another way to bring curiosity in play.
Motivational Interviewing, what a great concept. People simply want to be heard more than anything else.
With my background in sales I've often felt like an interrogator when going through my list of questions with a prospect. Motivational interviewing sounds like a more powerful way to go about it and would probably lead to more sales too!
I understand what you're saying and I agree motivational interviewing is an important skill to learn, but I think the tone of the question is a big part. If I ask "ok but why" with an attitudinal or judgmental tone, the feeling of interrogation is definitely there. If I ask "hmm, why is that?" or "oh how interesting! Why is that?" then curiosity is there. Sometimes reasonable guesses as to their meaning or intentions can also lead to feeling judged or misunderstood or like the person they're speaking too isn't really listening to them. It's a tricky skill to get correct!
I've definitely not "mastered" it, but I am a highly compassionate person and am a good listener & problem solver...working with domestic violence victims for years really helped me hone those skills.
Hi Rychelle! Your comment had slipped down my inbox. Yes tone is a very important part that helps build empathy and trust. It’s interesting how words can have a violent nature, depending on how we say them, or even the words we choose. I don’t think there is a right answer to this. What I think determines it is what the recipient experiences. All these tools are valuable, but how they are received is the measure of how impactful they are. What’s interesting from the MI research is that if we make a reasonable, genuine attempt to offer a reflection, it isn’t met with judgment or misunderstanding; rather the recipient corrects the understand in a neutral way. It does have to be a genuine attempt, even if the guess turns out to be wrong.
Great. I like to support anyone being authentic in their writing like you are. I have to admit, boring yes, that the possibilities with ChatGPT and its successor this year makes me childishly curious
You've not only kept your curiosity Arman, you've also kept your authenticity, which may be a bigger hidden strength than you're accounting for in the fact that you've thrived. I love you article and resonate with every assertion you're making about curiosity. Fortunately I have kept mine as well. It tends to build on itself, a little curiosity followed leads to a lot more. Life is an amazing thing to explore, but human potential and our capacity to overcome fears or limits that we assumed were permanent is probably the thing that most intrigues me, and how to support others to make that leap.
Beautifully said Rick. The combination of curiosity + authenticity may be the secret. Im thrilled to see how you help others make that leap.
“I would go even further and say the moment we lose our childish curiosity is the day we die.” -- 100%, Arman. Great topic, so relatable and powerful. Thank you!
Thank you Silvio. Brings a smile to my face knowing you enjoyed it! What can you be childishly curious about this year?
The beauty of childish curiosity, to me, is that you cannot tell in advance what you will be childishly curious about. I'd say, whatever happens to get in front of my senses :)
Hm, thats a good point. I guess thats reason enough to keep exploring until you find it.
Glad you ignored your fiancé's advice, Arman. This was a great read that sparked a lot of ideas for me.
Curiosity is so downplayed as a way to learn, change and grow.
Our love of learning turns into what we have to learn at an early age. Leo Ariel wrote a great piece too just last week about his origin story, and what we have to do.
I once read that a high school student gets asked something like 100 questions a day. And the expectation is that they need to be answered straight away - hands up, "I know the answer".
There's a book I've been recommended called "Make Just One Change: Teach students to ask their own questions" https://a.co/d/0ZoU5Bj published by the Right Question Institute.
They talk about the Question Formulation Technique. Question-storming (rather than brain-storming) you could call it.
It is based on the premise that when you brainstorm, you assume you are answering the right question. But if you start by question-storming, you first find the right/best question to answer.
And there's curiosity again!
Really appreciate you sharing this Eric. I like that idea of question-storming > brain-storming. I'll take good questions over good answers all day!
Thanks Arman, the line that caught my attention was,
"You will know you’ve reawakened your childish curiosity when you find a topic that makes you want to spend countless hours exploring, reading and contemplating."
I'm not 100% there, in fact, I'm studying for my 4 year degree (58 years old going for my computer science degree) which has me focusing on some things I couldn't care less about.
But, I'm moving a lot of stuff from the realm of "things I didn't know, I didn't know" into the realm of "things I know that I don't know"
I *am* smart, but I convinced myself that I wasn't because I failed Calculus 3 times. Turned out that there was a ton of math that I wasn't solid on, so I took a 17 month break and me and Khan Academy started at 1+1 = 2 and have gotten to the power rule in derivatives. A lot of tears during that journey that I'm hoping to complete by the end of February.
(Side note: I've become convinced that passing a kid in math with less than a 98% mastery level is a war crime, 70% is NO WHERE near enough)
Anyway, your article on childish curiosity stuck a chord, and I'm using the above quoted line as a compass to keep the passions burning.
Great to hear from you Malcolm. I agree with you that there are some things still worth learning even if they don't spark joy in the process.
The point I was hoping to make was finding those things that you want to learn about that you aren't being "forced" to learn due to a curriculum.
Cheers to you for going back to school at your life stage!
I think you've made the one of the most important discoveries of "there is so much I do not know" that comes when you start learning anything.
Hope to hear from you again in the not too distant future :)
You’re an incredible writer Arman, I think you’re gonna touch a lot of people with your writing. It’s so exciting to be here early and see your progress. Keep going
This means more than you know so thank you for the encouragement. I hope to see you keep going as well!
Loved this issue! I ask "why" questions constantly and it always throws people off! They never know what to say when I respond with, "ok, but why?"
It becomes a dangerous question the older we get but I think that makes it worth asking even more.
Asking too many questions like the example of the children in your essay, Arman, can make the person being asked feel interrogated, even if they are good, open questions, that start wtih'why?', 'how?' and 'what?'.
I learned about that when I was trainingg to become a coach and studying Motivational Interviewing, a method of talking with people about change.
And the solution that MI offers is to offer a reflection in place of a question. You make a reasonable guess about the person's meanings, thoughts, feelings, values or hopes, and offer it as a statement. The beauty of it is that it doesn't have to be right - the listener will correct it with what they are meaning, feeling, valuing, etc.
There's a recommended ratio of questions to reflections, which I think is 1:3 or 1:2, to avoid that sense of interrogation and help the conversation continue towards resolving ambivalence and change.
In a conversation, it's another way to bring curiosity in play.
Motivational Interviewing, what a great concept. People simply want to be heard more than anything else.
With my background in sales I've often felt like an interrogator when going through my list of questions with a prospect. Motivational interviewing sounds like a more powerful way to go about it and would probably lead to more sales too!
Listening is the best gift someone can give to another
I understand what you're saying and I agree motivational interviewing is an important skill to learn, but I think the tone of the question is a big part. If I ask "ok but why" with an attitudinal or judgmental tone, the feeling of interrogation is definitely there. If I ask "hmm, why is that?" or "oh how interesting! Why is that?" then curiosity is there. Sometimes reasonable guesses as to their meaning or intentions can also lead to feeling judged or misunderstood or like the person they're speaking too isn't really listening to them. It's a tricky skill to get correct!
Good point. Tone tells it all. How have you mastered the art of tone?
I've definitely not "mastered" it, but I am a highly compassionate person and am a good listener & problem solver...working with domestic violence victims for years really helped me hone those skills.
Oh yes I'm sure your experience with them has helped a ton. It's amazing what compassion and listening can lead to.
Hi Rychelle! Your comment had slipped down my inbox. Yes tone is a very important part that helps build empathy and trust. It’s interesting how words can have a violent nature, depending on how we say them, or even the words we choose. I don’t think there is a right answer to this. What I think determines it is what the recipient experiences. All these tools are valuable, but how they are received is the measure of how impactful they are. What’s interesting from the MI research is that if we make a reasonable, genuine attempt to offer a reflection, it isn’t met with judgment or misunderstanding; rather the recipient corrects the understand in a neutral way. It does have to be a genuine attempt, even if the guess turns out to be wrong.
Absolutely.
Thank you Arman. This piece made me smile when I red it and I am still smiling when I think about it one hour later.
Wow that makes my day Nils. Thank you for letting me know! What could you be childishly curious about this year?
Great. I like to support anyone being authentic in their writing like you are. I have to admit, boring yes, that the possibilities with ChatGPT and its successor this year makes me childishly curious
That is the opposite of boring! I dont know much about it but it seems like a game changing technology. Hope you write about it!
Yeah. I guess most will write and think about it this year.
I'm sure you have some unique takes to share.
I will. Wait for it:)