How to live a good story

And why that's all that really matters

If you aren’t a sucker for a good story, then you can go ahead and stop reading this.

Oh, you are a sucker just like me?

Marvelous.

Then gather around the campfire.

It’s storytime.

Photo by Maegan Martin on Unsplash

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Why do you do what you do?

• Money 💰

• Pleasure 😃

• Help others 🙌

• Please your parents

• “Look” successful to your friends

Those are all fine and dandy.

But that isn’t what we’re discussing today.

There is a much more compelling reason to do what you do. You have known it all along. Even if you didn’t realize it.

And when I reveal what it is, it may very well SHOCK you to your core. It certainly shocked mine.

So what is it?

I am going to share that with you.

Are you ready?

Ya sure?

Good. Onward.

Wait, what was the question again?

Oh yeah, why do you do what you do?

Answer: To have good stories.

Go on….

I want you to stop and ask yourself before you do whatever you are gonna do after reading this: Will this lead to a good story? 🤔

If not, then don’t do it.

If yes, then do the damn thing!

You will be surprised at how much your life will improve by implementing this question.

Just by asking it, you will discover just how many of your experiences can be transformed into captivating stories.

Ok Arman, I hear you. But how do I live a good story? My life sucks. Nothing I do is story worthy.

First of all, you are being too harsh on yourself. Your life doesn’t suck…..that bad.

Second of all, I hate to break it to you, but good stories don’t just land on your lap out of thin air. You have to purposefully craft your experiences into stories worth sharing.

This takes some effort. But you can do it. And it is worth it.

We have evolved to tell stories. We owe our existence to our ancestors who were good storytellers. And the ones who weren’t, well….how do I put this lightly?

They are extinct.

So it’s baked into your DNA.

Before we learned how to write on clay tablets, storytelling is how we passed on knowledge. And it’s how we entertained ourselves before Steve Jobs ended boredom forever by getting that little black box in your pocket.

It was vital to our survival to be able to storytell.

And I believe that it’s just as important today.

All you gotta do is sit up straight. Stick your chest out. Hold your chin up. And tell that story!

Go ahead and do this right now. Tell me you aren’t starting to feel those storytelling muscles loosen up a bit.

Before you know it, they will be ready for primetime.

The book that opened my eyes to this is called “A Million Miles in A Thousand Years” by Donald Miller. Don’t ask me what the title means. Because I can’t tell you.

What I can tell you is - this was one of those books that gave me a good ole slap across the forehead. That rare slap that only the right book at the right time can do.

I am no expert at this whole living thing but after 30 years I have realized….how easy it is to get sucked into the blackhole often referred to as “the daily grind”.

Does this sound eerily familiar to you?

• Wake up.

• Brush teeth.

• Poop.

• Slurp coffee.

• Poop again.

• Go to work.

• Check phone a couple (hundred) times.

• Laugh at some memes.

• Eat a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch (or Chickfila on Friday to treat yoself).

• Feel the life draining out of your skull for that final hour on the clock.

• Finally go home.

• Turn your brain off.

• Pop that frozen hungryman meal into the microwave. Then proceed to shove it into your mouth.

• Get inhaled by the couch for the final 3 waking hours of the day.

• Watch Netflix (as long as your sister isn’t also watching since you are too cheap to have your own account).

• Maybe poop one more time.

• Go to sleep.

• REPEAT.

Ouch. That hurt just to write out.

What part of that sequence is the good story going to come from?

The hungryman meal? Doubtful.

The third poop? Possibly.

But if none of those are going to cut it for your time in the spotlight to share your story worth sharing then what’s it gonna be?

Let’s see.

Good stories are hard to come up with without some uncertainty.

Uncertainty is not always something we seek out. But I think it should be. Especially if you want to find that delicious formula for a good story.

We MUST find a way to find some uncertainty if we want to have a good story to tell. And trust me. It ain’t that bad.

Let me give you a couple of examples from my own life. And notice the theme of uncertainty:

Story #1: I quit my first big boy job after two years (circa 2017). Quickly realizing I didn’t have the body for cubicle life. And had no backup plan for what I was going to do next. So I decided to pack some clothes. Hop in my car. And drive west. I started this journey from Woodstock, Georgia. And for those of you who haven’t studied geography in a while….America is a pretty big country. I didn’t have any idea of what was to come. All I knew is that this would be an adventure. My expectations weren’t too high. How far would I go? To Texas? How long could I do this? A week? All great questions that I didn’t have answers for. It ended up being a 37-day cross-country road trip. From Georgia to California and allllll the way back. 8621 miles. 25 states. Along the way - sleeping in my car in (multiple) Walmart parking lots. Crashing a bachelorette party in Scottsdale. Getting stuck in a 3-hour traffic jam at Yellowstone National Park thanks to a few hundred buffalo deciding to take their sweet time crossing the road (and getting a selfie with one of them). Sitting at John McCain’s desk in DC (where I obviously took another selfie). And plenty more that is NSFW.

Sounds pretty crazy right? Lots of uncertainty in the air. But I survived to tell the tale.

And my fiancé will be the first to tell you that I’m not that exciting of a guy. I’m actually pretty boring. But I took a chance. And the result? Some freakin awesome stories.

Okay, one more.

Story #2:

About 2 years after this cross-country stunt I decided to quit my job again (notice any trends?). Again, with no backup plan in sight. So I decided to pack one week worth of clothes this time. Bought a one way flight. Hopped on a plane headed to Southeast Asia. When I tell you to embrace uncertainty, its because I took this to the extreme this time. Because I had absolutely NOTHING planned (not even a hotel). I arrived in Bangkok after a grueling 24-hour journey. Not realizing that the trains wouldn’t be running for another 8 hours. So I got to sleep on the airport floor my first night. What was I thinking? Also forgetting that my fluency in the language starts and ends with “Pad Thai”. It’s kinda challenging to navigate through a place where you can’t even read the street signs. But we can persevere! I traveled around the region for 100 days. Traveling to 5 countries (Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia and Singapore). I learned how to scuba dive in Thailand. Spent 3 days in complete silence at a meditation retreat in a remote mountain village. Volunteered to teach English in Cambodia (not sure if those poor kids learned a single new word). Hopped on a motorcycle with a random Vietnamese guy and let him take me on a 12-hour tour of his hometown. Got malaria while strolling around Angkor Watt in Cambodia (0/10 recommend). Spent 7 days in a Malaysian hospital bed trying to recover. Got robbed by a cab driver in Vietnam. And that isn’t the half of it.

Pretty wild, right? Even more uncertainty floating around. But once again, came away with some great stories to share.

BTW, for those of you thinking “Oh must be nice to be rich. Just drop everything and go on adventures like that? I wish! But I could never afford that.”

Not so fast my friend.

Total cost:

• American cross country road trip = $2000

• Southeast Asia backpacking trip = $4000

Compare that to what it costs you to live a normal month in your current life….

So…..don’t let money be your excuse.

I share those two adventures not to brag (maybe a little). But to show you that good stories are available to you too. And it is within your grasp.

One of the great tragedies we suffer as Americans is this: we feel this societal pressure to plan out our entire lives when we are 18 years old.

But this is complete hogwash. If society tells us to do it, it’s probably bad advice.

Instead, I say we lead with this: What can I do today that has a chance of becoming a great story? One that I would love to share with others.

The most memorable pieces of life seem to come from the least expected places.

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Summary:

A human life is nothing more than a collection of stories. Embrace some uncertainty because that is the first key to a good story. Don’t worry about having every detail of your life planned out. Go out there and have experiences that are worthy of being crafted into some entertaining stories.

I will be the first to join you around the campfire with open ears.

P.S. - If all you could pass along to the next generation were your stories, wouldn’t you want them to be worth listening to?