Your coffee story resonated with me on a deep level. I used to despise the bitter taste, but now I can't imagine starting my day without a steaming cup. It's a reminder that our initial reactions to things are often superficial and can change dramatically over time. It makes me wonder what other hidden gems I might be missing out on simply because of a knee-jerk aversion.
Ah, a fellow convert! The more I think about it, if I still love and hate all the same things as I did 10 years ago, I'm probably doing something wrong.
(1) Your writing is enjoyable. But also, (2) I'm impressed by anyone who would come up with such an interesting question.
Since I'm already here and tapping on my computer, I'll give one of my present likes versus past dislikes:
Reading fiction.
Sometime after high school, fiction came to feel like a waste of time to me, it being invention and therefore imparting nothing real, nothing I could learn from or use. Many years later, though, I realized the importance of inspiration, apart from knowledge. Reading about characters who embody amazingness of any admirable kind is like a glider pilot hitting a pocket of warm air. It gives lift, motivating you and raising your own expectations of yourself.
I also found that that there is actually a lot of significant truth contained in fiction. Most of it in the form of insights and philosophy and perspective, the author illustrating principles of life or relationships, showing what he thinks works or doesn't work and in so doing teaching us different ways to think about things, etc.
But there's also a smaller category of fiction that deliberately provides actual, hidden knowledge or facts. People who know things they couldn't talk about factually can often dress it as fiction, rename some entities, and survive the telling. Look, for one example, at the 1972 novel, "Captains and the Kings." (In this one unusual case, the author of the book actually announces her secret intention in the foreward.)
Another small example: Arthur Conan Doyle wrote a novel in 1895 called "The Stark Munro Letters" which was reportedly a fictionalized telling of the true shenanigans of a con artist he work for for two months.
There are even works that “predict” future events! Look at the novel called "Futility," (also called "The Wreck of the Titan"), which portrayed in a little too much detail the Titanic catastrophe fourteen years before it happened.
Or a relatively recent political thriller that talked about an engineered virus escaping from a Wuhan laboratory several years before we were all talking about that possibility.
"A History of Things to Come," by H.G. Wells, contains a brief reference to the dismantling of the skeletons of two of the famous skyscrapers of lower Manhattan. This book was published in 1936.
Or look at "The Simpsons" and other mere "silly" cartoons and movies, which have predicted more future events with much more accuracy and detail than any soothsayer you might care to name. Kobe Bryant's helicopter crash. The suicide of Robin Williams. The killing of Libya's leader years before it happened. And this is not even a scratch of the surface.
Anyway. Bottom line, thanks again for a great post.
Wow you may have just convinced me to start taking fiction more seriously. I've always been a non-fiction fan and have ignored fiction for the most part. But I think you are right. There's a reason great fiction books are read for hundreds of years. My one bone to pick with fiction is how long they tend to be. Maybe I'm just too impatient? If you only had one fiction book to recommend, what would it be?
Very true about lots of fiction being seriously lengthy. As it turns out -- now that I'm thinking back on it -- most of the books I actually loved most were great big novels (even though I usually don't feel that I have enough time to commit weeks and weeks to reading). Hugo's novels contain, mixed in among the events of the plot, the equivalent of entire essays or treatises on various historical subjects as background, but his stories hit so deeply that I wade into them anyway. Taylor Caldwell's "Captains and the Kings" is quite long too but so full of inside info about the world and personal inspiration in the form of the perceptive, street-smart, strong, and implacable main character, that it's worth the time. The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged too, *weeks* of reading. "The Count of Monte Cristo" as well; in fact, I haven't even finished that one yet. But all these books promised so much value (to me), that I couldn't turn them down.
Obviously, whether any of these books will have value to someone else depends on the interests and personality of that person, so any suggestion from me may be a bad choice, but -- and I may change this later -- I might give "Captains and the Kings" as my answer to your question of which single book I'd name. But there are so many others, fantastic in the variety of things they convey, teach, exemplify. Like "The Fountainhead," which -- to the best of my knowledge -- has been mandatory reading for every new architect ever since it came out back in the mid 1900s and illustrates the rightness of standing up for principle, the nobility of thinking and competence and working hard, and allegiance to one's own mind.
For short stories, O'Henry is ingenious and entertaining. Look at "The Gift of the Magi," for example. In the category of the short novel (or long story), if you like dystopian scenarios: "This Perfect Day," by Ira Levin. https://theunexpectedworld.substack.com/p/this-perfect-day-by-ira-levin
I know what you mean about non-fiction. That's been my main interest for most of my life. Knowledge. Learning. Mastering the world. Weirdly though, and lately, I'm starting to get the idea that there *may* be more usefulness in great fiction than in what is purported to be non.
Really like the idea that you may find yourself loving what you used to hate or hating what you used to love. I used to hate coffee when I was younger, then I moved to milky, now its black with breakfast every AM. Maybe its about building a tolerance! 😂
I hated coffee after my two pregnancies, I love it now, hated getting married and raising children but I am married, loved raising my children but I will not recommend just to anyone.
I like this newsletter. Just discovered you. I am kind a new on Substack.
Thank you Catherine. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Haha my memory may be false about that but I know I didn't read anything I wasn't forced to. But I'm sure I just read the spark notes to get by. I majored in management and international business, perhaps because I knew I wouldn't be forced to read much? :)
Thank you! That warms my heart. I think adding a pinch of humor is one of the greatest cheat codes for making your writing better. As they say, "laughter is the sound of understanding".
The way you've illustrated the beauty of change from love to hate, and how these notions are by no means fixed, or qualities of the objective things we appear to love or hate. Lots for me to reflect on!
If this gets you to reflect for even a second, I consider it a success. I'm sure you've got countless examples from your own life. And I think it's exciting to wonder about what you could end up loving in the future that you may despise right now.
I think resisting the urge to pass judgment (even just in your head) is crucial. These days, when I start to feel hatred rising in me, I close my eyes and force myself to learn more about the damn thing (not everything of course), especially an ideology or people. Sometimes I completely flipped to the other side, and sometimes all I learned were more reasons to prove that the damn thing is not for me. But I am always glad to have learned anyway.
Haha so you were basically a breadstick guy? I could never turn down any pizza (unless it's got pineapples) but I'd say my favorite is peperronis and jalapenos!
I call myself a recovering Hipster. I used to be so snobby about music and only listen to the "coolest" bands. Now I'm the most unabashed Swiftie there is, and I love most pop music. I realized holding onto snobbery was an identity to cling to that I no longer needed.
Haha I'm right there with you Elizabeth! I used to take pride in hating anything mainstream until I realized many mainstream things are mainstream for a reason! Dropping old beliefs we cling so tightly to is the ultimate sign of maturity.
Nothing overruled if I recall. The subject if I recall is stuff I have written about so For me it was in repeat. It was so cool to see someone else say it. Look forward to what you bring next.
…the persuaders…thin line between love and hate…great song…but even more so a real idea…took me so long to start seeing that things that upset me attract me in equal volume…and to that end my disgust distaste and distance from them was as much facade as truth…i’m always closer to my middle than my polar opposites even when I feel pulled in one massive direction…i call this the taylor swift conundrum…i don’t like her music…but that doesn’t mean the endless millions of people who do are wrong…maybe i just haven’t listened the right way yet…or maybe it does suck lol…opinions are for opining and onions are for crying or making tacos more delicious…
Yes to all of this. I'm not a Swiftie either but that probably just means I'll be a superfan in a few years...Is it really a taco if it doesn't have onions on it?
Your coffee story resonated with me on a deep level. I used to despise the bitter taste, but now I can't imagine starting my day without a steaming cup. It's a reminder that our initial reactions to things are often superficial and can change dramatically over time. It makes me wonder what other hidden gems I might be missing out on simply because of a knee-jerk aversion.
Ah, a fellow convert! The more I think about it, if I still love and hate all the same things as I did 10 years ago, I'm probably doing something wrong.
This can happen. All the foods I disliked as a kid I like now, or at least are more indifferent about than I once was.
Yep. Same here. What are some of those foods? Broccoli and asparagus come to mind for me.
Same! Our tastebuds change as we get older, almost as if we’re designed to change our preferences and discover new ones.
I like that Lisa. Maybe the sign of growth is when our preferences change.
Terrific post.
Thank you! Did anything specific resonate?
(1) Your writing is enjoyable. But also, (2) I'm impressed by anyone who would come up with such an interesting question.
Since I'm already here and tapping on my computer, I'll give one of my present likes versus past dislikes:
Reading fiction.
Sometime after high school, fiction came to feel like a waste of time to me, it being invention and therefore imparting nothing real, nothing I could learn from or use. Many years later, though, I realized the importance of inspiration, apart from knowledge. Reading about characters who embody amazingness of any admirable kind is like a glider pilot hitting a pocket of warm air. It gives lift, motivating you and raising your own expectations of yourself.
I also found that that there is actually a lot of significant truth contained in fiction. Most of it in the form of insights and philosophy and perspective, the author illustrating principles of life or relationships, showing what he thinks works or doesn't work and in so doing teaching us different ways to think about things, etc.
But there's also a smaller category of fiction that deliberately provides actual, hidden knowledge or facts. People who know things they couldn't talk about factually can often dress it as fiction, rename some entities, and survive the telling. Look, for one example, at the 1972 novel, "Captains and the Kings." (In this one unusual case, the author of the book actually announces her secret intention in the foreward.)
https://theunexpectedworld.substack.com/p/captains-and-the-kings-by-taylor?r=49p5on
Another small example: Arthur Conan Doyle wrote a novel in 1895 called "The Stark Munro Letters" which was reportedly a fictionalized telling of the true shenanigans of a con artist he work for for two months.
There are even works that “predict” future events! Look at the novel called "Futility," (also called "The Wreck of the Titan"), which portrayed in a little too much detail the Titanic catastrophe fourteen years before it happened.
https://allthatsinteresting.com/the-wreck-of-the-titan
Or a relatively recent political thriller that talked about an engineered virus escaping from a Wuhan laboratory several years before we were all talking about that possibility.
"A History of Things to Come," by H.G. Wells, contains a brief reference to the dismantling of the skeletons of two of the famous skyscrapers of lower Manhattan. This book was published in 1936.
Or look at "The Simpsons" and other mere "silly" cartoons and movies, which have predicted more future events with much more accuracy and detail than any soothsayer you might care to name. Kobe Bryant's helicopter crash. The suicide of Robin Williams. The killing of Libya's leader years before it happened. And this is not even a scratch of the surface.
Anyway. Bottom line, thanks again for a great post.
Wow you may have just convinced me to start taking fiction more seriously. I've always been a non-fiction fan and have ignored fiction for the most part. But I think you are right. There's a reason great fiction books are read for hundreds of years. My one bone to pick with fiction is how long they tend to be. Maybe I'm just too impatient? If you only had one fiction book to recommend, what would it be?
Very true about lots of fiction being seriously lengthy. As it turns out -- now that I'm thinking back on it -- most of the books I actually loved most were great big novels (even though I usually don't feel that I have enough time to commit weeks and weeks to reading). Hugo's novels contain, mixed in among the events of the plot, the equivalent of entire essays or treatises on various historical subjects as background, but his stories hit so deeply that I wade into them anyway. Taylor Caldwell's "Captains and the Kings" is quite long too but so full of inside info about the world and personal inspiration in the form of the perceptive, street-smart, strong, and implacable main character, that it's worth the time. The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged too, *weeks* of reading. "The Count of Monte Cristo" as well; in fact, I haven't even finished that one yet. But all these books promised so much value (to me), that I couldn't turn them down.
Obviously, whether any of these books will have value to someone else depends on the interests and personality of that person, so any suggestion from me may be a bad choice, but -- and I may change this later -- I might give "Captains and the Kings" as my answer to your question of which single book I'd name. But there are so many others, fantastic in the variety of things they convey, teach, exemplify. Like "The Fountainhead," which -- to the best of my knowledge -- has been mandatory reading for every new architect ever since it came out back in the mid 1900s and illustrates the rightness of standing up for principle, the nobility of thinking and competence and working hard, and allegiance to one's own mind.
For short stories, O'Henry is ingenious and entertaining. Look at "The Gift of the Magi," for example. In the category of the short novel (or long story), if you like dystopian scenarios: "This Perfect Day," by Ira Levin. https://theunexpectedworld.substack.com/p/this-perfect-day-by-ira-levin
I know what you mean about non-fiction. That's been my main interest for most of my life. Knowledge. Learning. Mastering the world. Weirdly though, and lately, I'm starting to get the idea that there *may* be more usefulness in great fiction than in what is purported to be non.
Really like the idea that you may find yourself loving what you used to hate or hating what you used to love. I used to hate coffee when I was younger, then I moved to milky, now its black with breakfast every AM. Maybe its about building a tolerance! 😂
Thank you Jen. Glad you enjoyed it!
I think you might be right haha. No sane child should like the taste of coffee.
I hated coffee after my two pregnancies, I love it now, hated getting married and raising children but I am married, loved raising my children but I will not recommend just to anyone.
I like this newsletter. Just discovered you. I am kind a new on Substack.
Sounds like we were on the same page with coffee! I dont have kids yet so Im kind of nervous about that one but also very excited.
Welcome to substack! Its the only platform I choose to spend time on these days. Glad you found me :)
Great post, because we do all change. But I find it astonishing that you graduated from college without reading a single book! What was your major?
Thank you Catherine. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Haha my memory may be false about that but I know I didn't read anything I wasn't forced to. But I'm sure I just read the spark notes to get by. I majored in management and international business, perhaps because I knew I wouldn't be forced to read much? :)
I loved reading it, Arman! I look up to your writing style, especially for the deep thoughtful message you bring in along with great sense of humour!
This is something I would love to bring in my articles as well 🙂
Thank you! That warms my heart. I think adding a pinch of humor is one of the greatest cheat codes for making your writing better. As they say, "laughter is the sound of understanding".
The way you've illustrated the beauty of change from love to hate, and how these notions are by no means fixed, or qualities of the objective things we appear to love or hate. Lots for me to reflect on!
If this gets you to reflect for even a second, I consider it a success. I'm sure you've got countless examples from your own life. And I think it's exciting to wonder about what you could end up loving in the future that you may despise right now.
I think resisting the urge to pass judgment (even just in your head) is crucial. These days, when I start to feel hatred rising in me, I close my eyes and force myself to learn more about the damn thing (not everything of course), especially an ideology or people. Sometimes I completely flipped to the other side, and sometimes all I learned were more reasons to prove that the damn thing is not for me. But I am always glad to have learned anyway.
Absolutely Elena. I love flipping to the other side on all kinds of stuff. Keeps life interesting :)
I used to hate cheese on pizza and raw tomatoes. Now I’m a big fan. Great post, Arman!
What did you like on your pizza? I can't imagine it without cheese...
I'm with you on the raw tomatoes. I still don't love them but I at least hate them a little less.
Back then I’d just eat the crust! Now I’ll eat any pizza but prefer it with marinara sauce and some kind of protein. What about you?
Haha so you were basically a breadstick guy? I could never turn down any pizza (unless it's got pineapples) but I'd say my favorite is peperronis and jalapenos!
Great combo! Pesto and chicken is actually really good too. Yeah, huge bread fan haha.
I still hate coffee and I'm not changing my mind!
Haha I was right there with you for a long, long time. Never say never!
I call myself a recovering Hipster. I used to be so snobby about music and only listen to the "coolest" bands. Now I'm the most unabashed Swiftie there is, and I love most pop music. I realized holding onto snobbery was an identity to cling to that I no longer needed.
Haha I'm right there with you Elizabeth! I used to take pride in hating anything mainstream until I realized many mainstream things are mainstream for a reason! Dropping old beliefs we cling so tightly to is the ultimate sign of maturity.
You have expanded your existence of living. Thank you for explaining yourself live and direct
I appreciate you taking the time to read. Did anything stick out to you?
Nothing overruled if I recall. The subject if I recall is stuff I have written about so For me it was in repeat. It was so cool to see someone else say it. Look forward to what you bring next.
Isn't that the best? When you find others thinking about, and writing about similar ideas that have been rumbling around in your mind?
…the persuaders…thin line between love and hate…great song…but even more so a real idea…took me so long to start seeing that things that upset me attract me in equal volume…and to that end my disgust distaste and distance from them was as much facade as truth…i’m always closer to my middle than my polar opposites even when I feel pulled in one massive direction…i call this the taylor swift conundrum…i don’t like her music…but that doesn’t mean the endless millions of people who do are wrong…maybe i just haven’t listened the right way yet…or maybe it does suck lol…opinions are for opining and onions are for crying or making tacos more delicious…
Yes to all of this. I'm not a Swiftie either but that probably just means I'll be a superfan in a few years...Is it really a taco if it doesn't have onions on it?
Ok you might have found the exception that proves the rule. I don't see myself ever loving tomatoes...