Reject advice that saps your energy

The best advice I ever received

Many of us seek advice with an insatiable appetite. And I must confess I stuffed my face for far too long. But the best advice I ever heard was: reject advice that saps your energy. Thank you Derek Sivers.

My life went down the gutter when I took some well-meaning advice from someone I looked up to — my first boss who we’ll call Bob.

After six months on the job, Bob invited me into his office for that dreaded mid-year review.

He applauded my efforts but then quickly changed the subject to something I was totally unprepared for… career advancement. He said he could see me being a great manager one day. And went on to share his exact blueprint for how he got there and how I could be earning six figures in no time.

Keep in mind I was a 23 year old man child who, just a few months prior, was staying out til 2am four nights a week in the greatest college town in America — Athens, Georgia (not up for debate). Still living in my grandparents basement and packing my lunch thanks to their generous compensation package.

Suffice to say, I hadn’t thought much about “career advancement”.

I was just trying to survive.

I shuffled out of his office devastated, but clearly he knew what he was talking about so he must be right. I mean he was thirty years old, so practically a sage at that point. That was the responsible thing to do if I wanted to be successful and rich.

So I took my marching orders.

I ignored how I felt in hopes that someday this would all pay off. I spent two grueling years doing this and hated every second of it!

But his advice was working.

I got promoted five months later over several of my colleagues who were more qualified.

Next stop? Management baby!

I wasn’t rich yet, but I was earning enough money to afford a place of my own (without rats). I was on the path to success.

There was just one problem.

I felt miserable.

There was a nagging thorn in my side each morning when my alarm went off.

I wondered during my two hour commute, “Is this what success is supposed to feel like?”

I still didn’t know what I actually wanted to do. But I knew this wasn’t it.

So, as you can imagine, things got ugly.

I gained cubicle weight at an alarming rate. I look back on photos of myself from those days and even a blind person could tell I was unhappy.

Bad advice heeded makes you miserable and it shows.

So, this being my first real job, and me being totally naive, I mustered up the courage to inform Bob I wanted to quit. But not immediately, I said I’d be happy to work another month or two to give them ample time to find my replacement.

He smiled but didn’t say anything.

I told him this on a Monday morning. That afternoon, he told me my last day would be Friday.

Ouch.

But I will never forget how good I felt driving home in that god awful Atlanta rush hour traffic for the last time. I tossed my business cards out the window.

For the first time in two years, I felt a sense of joy. Even though I had zero back up plan.

I wish I had paid closer attention to my emotions that were trying to communicate with me in the only way they knew how. Instead, I wasted two years of my life following someone else’s well-meaning advice.

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So what’s my point?

You’re going to receive boatloads of advice from people you look up to at all stages of your life.

Listen to it all, but pay detailed attention to what it does to your energy levels.

If it saps you, reject it.

If it fuels you, test it out.

Your thoughts? Please leave a reply below.

Photo by kate.sade on Unsplash