When I was in theater conservatory at university we had to put ourselves in an intentionally embarrassing public situation as an assignment. It was still end of summer and I used green food coloring to turn every inch of visible skin in my shorts and tank top bright green and then went shopping as though everything was completely normal. And that was tame compared to what many of my classmates did.
Very interesting read filled with smile throughout, as usual Arman! 🙂
From my expedition so far, its true for all kind of triggering emotions- once we start facing them, those emotions no longer frighten our subconscious mind.
Two questions that I recently became conscious that am embarrassed about are, age and the relationship status 😀 but once it’s faced, it feels much lighter.
The more we get to converse and not shy away, the more we learn about ourselves.
I went to medical school. It literally trained me to deal with embarrassment. That too mostly in front of patients. We have to really learn in public. It had been some time since those experiences. Would try the coffee challenge.
Learning in public sucks in the moment but you learn so much quicker. And those experiences stick with you forever! Haha be prepared to get rejected but all in good fun. The hot seat literally had me dripping in sweat.
While I agree with the premise, I think the world is increasingly filled with people who aren't feeling embarrassed enough for what they say, do and behave like.
You wrote, 'Embarrassment is an underpriced emotion.' This struck me as incredibly profound. We often go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment, but perhaps we should be seeking it out, embracing it as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery.
i'm glad that line stuck out to you too. i thought it was the perfect distillation of what i was trying to say :) any embarrassing moments come to mind?
I truly think that the "hot seat" would 100% cause me to pass out on the spot, whew! I wholeheartedly resonate with the sentiment that embarrassment can indeed build resilience. What a challenge to confront uncomfortable feelings and vulnerability... we are always better for it!
I'm so glad you were able to sink into it and learn for it. I think facing our fear is so important. Also I do wonder when things go into humiliation ritual territory. I wonder if there are other ways to become great, strong and capable without the framework of, lets make this guys squirm. I hope it's done in a way that is building people up rather than creating shame.
that's a good distinction Megan. you're right, things can probably be taken too far. but i think the vast majority of us avoid any possible chance of embarrassment like the plague too often.
Greatly relate to this.. especially coming from the sports ticket sales realm. I look back on all the times I was extremely embarrassed and still sometimes cringe, but also extremely thankful I went through that embarrassing time because I grew so much from it.
I worked for the Worcester Red Sox (Triple-A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox) for the past 4 years. Just quit, moved down to Austin and took a software sales gig. Check out my last article if you have a chance, I wrote about what I learned from working in sports tied in with some philosophy - I bet you’ll relate to a good chunk of it. 🤙
wow triple a had to be tough. props to you for sticking with it for so long. people burn out of the industry so quickly. I only lasted 2 years. hey no way? i also live in austin and work in biz dev for a saas startup. sounds like we've had similar paths. can you share the link to your post in case others are curious too?
4 years in ticket sales is like 40 in another industry. im surprised all my hair didnt turn gray from it lol. and great, detailed write up man. i enjoyed it!
Coincidentally, just as I finished reading this post, I received this notification from the Motivation app:
“Don't let cringe stand in your way. I think that we are so freaked out by being cringey or embarrassing or corny or whatever. And I think that sometimes can hold you back because you don't want to embarrass yourself.”
-Billie Eilish
The universe can’t be more obvious about what I need to do.
…i might be a fool…i mean i am…but was thinking this week how much better work and relationships are when there is some element of making fun of stuff…all of the world wants to sell me self help and i just want to be roasted and to roast back…i fear we are becoming boring…the youth should be TPing elon’s house every night not dressing him up in iron man memes…i am embarrassed every day…for myself and for all of us…
"Tim Ferriss’s relax-in-public challenge: The next time you find yourself in a crowded place, lie down in the middle of the floor for sixty seconds. People will stare, point, and whisper to one another. Sit with the discomfort. Then stand up and carry on as if what you did was completely normal. Simply feel the rush of embarrassment. It will pass."
When I was in theater conservatory at university we had to put ourselves in an intentionally embarrassing public situation as an assignment. It was still end of summer and I used green food coloring to turn every inch of visible skin in my shorts and tank top bright green and then went shopping as though everything was completely normal. And that was tame compared to what many of my classmates did.
haha ok you win. i would have loved to be a fly on that wall :)
Very interesting read filled with smile throughout, as usual Arman! 🙂
From my expedition so far, its true for all kind of triggering emotions- once we start facing them, those emotions no longer frighten our subconscious mind.
Two questions that I recently became conscious that am embarrassed about are, age and the relationship status 😀 but once it’s faced, it feels much lighter.
The more we get to converse and not shy away, the more we learn about ourselves.
I'm glad you enjoyed it my friend :) I agree completely. With enough exposure to the emotions we shy away from, the less triggering they become.
I went to medical school. It literally trained me to deal with embarrassment. That too mostly in front of patients. We have to really learn in public. It had been some time since those experiences. Would try the coffee challenge.
And I can feel the hot seat incident.
Learning in public sucks in the moment but you learn so much quicker. And those experiences stick with you forever! Haha be prepared to get rejected but all in good fun. The hot seat literally had me dripping in sweat.
That hot seat sounds like my absolute worst nightmare though 😳
Haha it was for me too! But the fact that I still remember it like it was yesterday makes me think it was worth every second (that felt like hours).
While I agree with the premise, I think the world is increasingly filled with people who aren't feeling embarrassed enough for what they say, do and behave like.
Interesting. You are right. The internet has made it so easy to spew nonsense that people would never say directly to someone's face.
You wrote, 'Embarrassment is an underpriced emotion.' This struck me as incredibly profound. We often go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment, but perhaps we should be seeking it out, embracing it as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery.
i'm glad that line stuck out to you too. i thought it was the perfect distillation of what i was trying to say :) any embarrassing moments come to mind?
I avoid embarrassment like the plague. Maybe I’ll have to try those two things. They seem very doable.
you are not alone my friend. if i had to choose one i'd go with the coffee challenge. let me know how it goes. god speed!
I truly think that the "hot seat" would 100% cause me to pass out on the spot, whew! I wholeheartedly resonate with the sentiment that embarrassment can indeed build resilience. What a challenge to confront uncomfortable feelings and vulnerability... we are always better for it!
though also maybe slightly traumatized lol
haha i'm still surprised i didn't pass out (or pee my pants). actually maybe i did? or it could've just been the sweat trickling down my legs...
I'm so glad you were able to sink into it and learn for it. I think facing our fear is so important. Also I do wonder when things go into humiliation ritual territory. I wonder if there are other ways to become great, strong and capable without the framework of, lets make this guys squirm. I hope it's done in a way that is building people up rather than creating shame.
that's a good distinction Megan. you're right, things can probably be taken too far. but i think the vast majority of us avoid any possible chance of embarrassment like the plague too often.
absolutley. lean in to embarrassment and big huge grown can occur.
Greatly relate to this.. especially coming from the sports ticket sales realm. I look back on all the times I was extremely embarrassed and still sometimes cringe, but also extremely thankful I went through that embarrassing time because I grew so much from it.
a fellow ticket salesman?! did we just become best friends? what team was it for?
I think we did!
I worked for the Worcester Red Sox (Triple-A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox) for the past 4 years. Just quit, moved down to Austin and took a software sales gig. Check out my last article if you have a chance, I wrote about what I learned from working in sports tied in with some philosophy - I bet you’ll relate to a good chunk of it. 🤙
wow triple a had to be tough. props to you for sticking with it for so long. people burn out of the industry so quickly. I only lasted 2 years. hey no way? i also live in austin and work in biz dev for a saas startup. sounds like we've had similar paths. can you share the link to your post in case others are curious too?
Wow had no clue you lived in Austin. And I didn’t last much longer than you lol!
Here’s the link to my post: https://open.substack.com/pub/dannymalm/p/americas-pastime?r=1m6o91&utm_medium=ios
4 years in ticket sales is like 40 in another industry. im surprised all my hair didnt turn gray from it lol. and great, detailed write up man. i enjoyed it!
Thank you for reading man. Let’s grab a coffee sometime!
Coincidentally, just as I finished reading this post, I received this notification from the Motivation app:
“Don't let cringe stand in your way. I think that we are so freaked out by being cringey or embarrassing or corny or whatever. And I think that sometimes can hold you back because you don't want to embarrass yourself.”
-Billie Eilish
The universe can’t be more obvious about what I need to do.
mic drop! cringe creates memories :)
…i might be a fool…i mean i am…but was thinking this week how much better work and relationships are when there is some element of making fun of stuff…all of the world wants to sell me self help and i just want to be roasted and to roast back…i fear we are becoming boring…the youth should be TPing elon’s house every night not dressing him up in iron man memes…i am embarrassed every day…for myself and for all of us…
the wise fool knows they are foolish :) making fun of the same stuff instantly connects us
"Tim Ferriss’s relax-in-public challenge: The next time you find yourself in a crowded place, lie down in the middle of the floor for sixty seconds. People will stare, point, and whisper to one another. Sit with the discomfort. Then stand up and carry on as if what you did was completely normal. Simply feel the rush of embarrassment. It will pass."
No.
lol don't knock it till you try it :)
:)